Time Flies
Well, the past couple months have really flown by. Things have gotten busy in just about every aspect of life. Sometimes I feel like things are out of control. Yet, somehow it is still a good thing. Little by little things seem to be falling into place. While I often feel rushed or hurried along, I still feel like I am right where I need to be. I have been able to enjoy a lot of the things I had been taking for granted. I am very much a creature of habit and get very rattled when things change. I often have a very hard time adjusting to the tiniest of changes. I have been trying to be very conscious of this fact and to relax and just let things happen as they will. I have found over the years that the more I push things to go my way the more of a mess everything becomes. For someone that has always worked with animals this is both a predictable thing and rather absurd as well. Most animals have a routine. Anyone that has a dog or cat on a feeding schedule will tell you, they can tell time and if you don’t get their food down, they will not let you forget. Creatures of habit. When I was working at the stable I could tell you which slot every horse would go into every morning to eat. It was the same order, all on their own, every single day. If just one horse was out of order all hell would break loose. Predictable, everything had a way it was suppose to be and that was how it was. If just the tiniest of things was a little bit off the entire balance was thrown off for the whole day. Yet at the same time, it is animals we are talking about. Rebellious and stubborn. Determined to do what they are going to do. You can’t push them into the mold you want, you just have to go with it. A very interesting contradiction, I know. As I reshape my life I try to keep this predictably unpredictable balance in mind. I have certain routines that I try to maintain and still allow for flexibility to enjoy life. I have opened up a few new doors that I wasn’t sure I wanted to open. I have started letting a few more people in, both new and old. I am still working on learning to trust again. I know I hold out a lot. I feel I have a lot of reason to. Yet, at the same time, it is not fair to hold people accountable for others faults. I am trying. I have some really great people in my life these days that have been giving me good reasons to have renewed faith in humanity.
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