My Life Head On

One Step Forward, 2 Steps Back

| October 18, 2015

Last night was full of nightmares again. Another night of tears. Another night of emptiness giving way to another day without my faithful protector. I dragged myself out of bed early to go to an all day meeting. As if Sunday meeting wasn’t horrible enough, it just had to be all day as well. As […]

Finally a Good Night

| October 17, 2015

I finally was able to sleep without the nightmares. It was only 3 hours, but it was 3 hours of no nightmares. 3 hours of peace.

Sleep is the Enemy

| October 15, 2015

Sleep is such a double edged sword. I am so exhausted, so run down. Yet sleep refuses to come. For hours on end I am restless. For days now I haven’t gotten more than an hour or two of sleep. I drag through my days unable to look at people, unable to speak. At work […]


| October 12, 2015

I really don’t know what I would do without the amazing people in my life. Today I did one of the hardest things and they were there. The outpouring of love they have sent since last night has just been so comforting. I had to move Renegade from the ER to my hospital today. One […]

Saying Goodbye

| October 11, 2015

I stayed in bed with Renegade all day today. He was so comfortable snuggling for several hours then would cough and be restless. All day we rested together. It was so comforting having him there. Tonight though he started coughing and just couldn’t seem to stop. When he finally did get back to breathing normally […]

Getting Worse

| October 10, 2015

While I was at work this morning I got a text saying Renegade had fallen after coughing and didn’t want to get back up for a few minutes. Steve kept him in bed for the rest of the day but his cough has gotten worse. I had one of the doctors write a prescription to […]


| October 7, 2015

I had to bring Renegade into work with me today. He has had a cough and its starting to concern me. He is still my happy bouncy boy, but the cough has been waking him up at night. We ran some blood work and took some x-rays. We are worried about a few lesions in […]