Am I Spinning?
I don’t even know what to say about today. My head is still spinning. So many things happened today and I don’t know if I feel good or bad or hurt or happy or excited. I guess confused would be the word, but I don’t really know what exactly it is that I am confused about. I can’t seem to focus on anything at all and I just feel so frazzled.
To one of you, I am glad we finally got a chance to talk. It meant a lot to me that you told me what was going on. I know you didn’t mean to tell me, but I am glad you did. I am sorry if I upset you. I didn’t want that. I am glad that you took action. I am glad you were there and did everything that you did. I am glad that things are looking like they will end positively for you and yours.
To the other one of you, I am glad we got to talk a little today as well even if you didn’t want to talk to me. Hang in there. Things will come together eventually. You will come out on top. I miss talking to you like we use to be able to. I miss your smile. I hate that things are the way they are. I hate that I can’t make it better for you. I can’t help but thinking of when we were kids and how easy things were. Our biggest concern was if we would be able to see the end of the movie before bed or when the dogs ate the eggs on the easter egg hunt. I wish I could make things that easy for you again.
To my smile source, thank you for being my constant distraction. The instant smile you bring out of me is felt deeper than I care to confess. Thank you for being there and reminding me to keep my head up. You are a constant reminder to me that there is always something to look forward to.
To Mal, you probably know what I am going to say. You are just that good. I love you for being there and knowing when I need you to just be there. You are so good at just knowing what I need and when. You really are the other half of me. It was so nice to finally have a true Mal night, just us. I am looking forward to this weekend.
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